Settling In

Based on feedback from my previous post, a lot of you have moved in the last year. Now that you’re in your new place, what are some things you’re doing to make it feel like home?

I’ve been thinking about kids and moving.

Kids don’t get to make a lot of choices in a move, and depending on their age, that can be hard for them. They can become angry or disengaged if they feel they have no control over their life.

There are lots of things to do to give them choices that allow them some sense of control. If possible, letting them choose their bedroom and how to decorate their new space can help.

When my kids were younger, we did park exploration. We tried to go to every park within a reasonable distance from our house. It was a fun way for all of us to get to know our new area. It also helped me learn where things were and just have fun in the stress of moving.

We still have our names for some of the parks that make no sense to anyone else. There was the “close by” park, the “train” park, and the “dinosaur” park, to name a few.

To make it fun and increase engagement with your kids, ask them what things they want to find. Do they want a park with swings? Trees to climb? Skateboarding?

When you have hungry teenagers, a great way to connect with a new place is through food. So we’ve been visiting the delicious spots around here.

We got a tip about a local ice cream shop downtown, and we stood in a line that went halfway around the block. Of course, the surly teenager said, “This better be worth it.” A few bites into his ice cream, he was smiling and said, “This is worth it.”

Our current quest is to find the best BBQ. Being that our city is known for its barbecue, we decided we had to indulge. Besides, we need to be ready to offer real advice when guests ask where the best BBQ is.

We thought we already had a favorite, but after reading a local online magazine, I saw many more options to try. The hungry teenagers were up for the challenge.

We’ve made some parameters to keep it “scientific.” We always get the brisket and pulled pork so that we are comparing brisket to brisket and pulled pork to pulled pork. Also, it has to be local. Not a chain that you can find in other cities.

Our most memorable experience so far is the place that is a “legend” around here. I won’t name names, but it must just be a tourist thing because we’ve learned that most locals don’t like it.

Here are some of the comments from our teenage food critics:
“The best thing was the soda.”
“Who throws that much meat on white bread?”
“So overpriced.”
“Dirty tables.”
“There was a fight in the kitchen!”
“It sucks.”
“Fries have no taste. Like eating a soggy potato.”
“When the peels taste better than the inside then you have a problem.”
“It was fine, but too much fat.”
“I was hungry so I ate it.”
“I don’t feel so good.”
Parting advice to someone else, “Just don’t go.”

The next week we tried another one from the Top 10 online article. It was delicious. So much so that we ate there again the same week and tried some more options. Everyone was too busy eating to complain. There were just sighs of satisfaction.

I don’t know why, but it does make us feel like a part of the community to have experienced the local food. And it makes me feel at home to explore different streets and know how to get around.

It’s been my experience that when I move to a new city, it doesn’t take long for family and friends to come and visit. My advice is to jump in and be the student for a while. Embrace the disgusting and the divine. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Soon you’ll be ready to show someone else around town and give them highlights of your new home.

And hopefully you can get your kids engaged and feeling more at home too!

Feel free to share what’s helped you. I’d love to hear your comments!