Therapy Dog

How to Choose a Therapy Dog

She greeted me this morning with such an exuberant display of tail wagging and excited licking that I couldn’t help but greet the day with a smile. We had only been separated for the night while she slept peacefully, snoring on my son’s bed. 

Every morning she greets me like a long-lost friend. And perhaps, in some ways, she’s right.

After her greeting, I was ready to make pancakes, give hugs before school, and believe that today – life would be worth living. 

A few years ago, a therapist suggested that we get a therapy dog for our son. However, she cautioned, you need to carefully choose the dog that will bond to the child; otherwise, the dog won’t be therapeutic for him. 

We looked into a few breeders and talked to people who trained therapy dogs. When we found out our new neighbor was breeding a very specific type of dog for therapy training, we had even more questions.  

What exactly is a therapy dog? Do they have to be a certain breed or have specific training? The work involved in training and taking care of a dog seemed so serious. At the time, it felt like one more thing that we could possibly fail at and make the situation worse instead of better. Our fear of doing it wrong kept us from doing anything at all. 

During this time, I had a very narrow view of what a therapy dog was.

It wasn’t until repeated requests from our younger son that we started looking for just a “regular” dog. Unfortunately, it was during the pandemic, and it wasn’t a simple thing to get a dog from a shelter. We filled out forms and got on waiting lists. Our son looked at pet sites instead of doing online school. Every day he’d show us a new picture of a cute mutt. But it would be gone by the time we called.

We looked into breeders, and there wasn’t anything available there either. Just significant deposits and long waiting lists.

As I watched my son grow more discouraged, I was ready to accept anything we could find. As luck would have it, a friend had us babysit her puppy for a week. It was a perfect trial period for us to see what it would really be like to have a dog in the house. We learned how to crate her at night. How to walk her and which were her favorite toys. We had fun playing and walking and snuggling. After a few days, we were better at understanding her dog-speak and knew when to take her outside. After a week, we thought we would be able to handle a dog of our own.

The search for a dog was going to be real this time. 

When my son showed me the cute furry face on the screen, she seemed larger than life. He was already smitten, and I was ready to make it happen. I informed my husband we would be driving 3 hours to pick up a dog.

We left early in the morning and escaped most of the weekend traffic. 

When we arrived at the farmhouse, we were nervous. We didn’t see any dogs and hoped we were at the right location. However, before we reached the steps, a man came out onto the porch to greet us. We explained we were the family that had called the day before, and we were here to see the dog.

He went inside and returned with the smallest little thing. I couldn’t believe it was the one in the photo. Certainly, something that costs so much should be bigger! Knowing that there were at least two, we asked to see the other one as well.

He brought the other puppy out, and she wasn’t much bigger. We held them both and played with them on the lawn while we tried to decide which one to take home. Wishing we could afford them both. 

We left the choice to our son, and he looked back and forth to each face. Trying to decide which he could love more. Knowing that he would have to leave the other one there.

Eventually, the money and forms changed hands, and we were on our way. 

On the way back, the traffic was less annoying as we watched the sleeping pup on his lap. Those first few days were a haze of happiness. The boys took turns sleeping on the couch next to her crate so they could take her out as needed. Or perhaps just snuggle with her. 

As the weeks went on, the mom role fell to me. I was the one who got up in the early morning and took her outside. Then played until she was exhausted. There were times I resented having to get up so early. Especially at a time when the rest of the family and the world were paying less attention to deadlines and timelines. 

But I found some peace in the quiet, still dark mornings. There were deer on the lawn who only casually cared that we sat on the steps and watched. The stars were bright and pointed to a life that was bigger and more connected than just what we could see on screens during the day. 

Now in a world where we have to keep a social distance, our dog is entirely the opposite. After school, she is waiting in the car. Her tail wagging and her nose pressed against the glass window. The kids coming out of the high school have their heads down, keeping a straight face to act like nothing bothers them. But they start smiling as soon as they see her trying to get to them. By the time the car door is open, it’s a full-fledged grin, and the self-conscious teenager doesn’t care who sees them being licked all over.

When someone returns home, she’s at the door as soon as the keypad starts beeping. Her body bending in happy contortions to keep up with her tail. 

This display of unconditional love has kept us going. Who knew we needed a reason to get out of bed in the morning? With a dog who loves to be outside sniffing every rabbit trail or dog scent, we can’t stay inside all day.

When we had to move across the country, she provided a connection to our new neighbors. Her cute puppy face was an easy conversational starting point.

My view of “therapy” dogs has changed. From my experience, it doesn’t take special training to love and be loved by a dog. They come ready to accept whatever you have to give. They reward any kindness tenfold. 

I don’t know that it really matters what breed you choose. Some of my friends have large dogs, some have purebreds, others have miniature mutts. The question is, what are you willing to put up with to be so loved? 

Are you willing to be awoken on a weekend because it’s time to go outside and welcome the day with enthusiasm? Can you put up with some messes so you can smile and be a little silly? When the rest of the world doesn’t want your hugs or ignores that you even exist, your dog will light up when you enter the room. Dogs accept all the love and attention you are willing to give.

When we’re sad our dog is willing to sit with us.

Sharing her warmth and companionship to make us feel less alone.

When there’s nothing left to talk about with a grumpy teenager, you can watch the dog do funny things. You can play fetch and have another way to connect. Many times she provides comic relief to defuse the rising tension. As a result, we find ourselves smiling more to ourselves and each other.

I really was getting the dog for my sons, but now I realize I was the one who needed the therapy. It wasn’t just the kids who needed someone to love and take care of and be loved in return. It wasn’t just the kids who needed a reason to get up in the morning. Or to take a walk and appreciate the beauty all around us every day. 

I’m really glad we got a regular dog instead of a therapy dog. That would have been serious business. But now we have a regular dog that just insists on forcing her way into our hearts. She’s determined to make us appreciate the simple fun in life.

I guess the therapist was right. It’s important that the dog bond with the child. But fortunately, everyone gets a chance to “heal” with her.

She’s definitely therapeutic for all of us. She’s not a “service” dog. Which is where I think we got confused. She’s not trained to run into a burning building to rescue us, but after all the love she’s given us, we’ll run in to rescue her.